It has been brought to my attention that we are as materialistic in our best intentions as we are in our everyday consumerism. What I mean by this is that we love to be on any kind of social band wagon as long as it is beneficial to us social for at least some time. The materialistic example of this would be fads. In elementary school it was Pokemon cards and yo yos. Junior high was Axe body spray. High school was Doc Martens and Vera Bradley. In college it has been neon colored anything and wolf t-shirts. While these things are cool we love to be a part of the fad but anywhere from a few weeks to a couple months down the line we realize that being a part of the fad is not gaining us any social success anymore and we drop the fad and later joke about how we naively took part in it in the first place.
I feel like this sort of mentality is not only seen in material fads but also in larger social settings like what causes we support. The most recent example being the surge of support for Haiti. Before I continue let me be clear that I am all for aiding these people who have been struck by devastation. What I am not for is helping people only when it is most convenient.
I noticed today that the number one song being purchased on iTunes is a song called Hallelujah by Justine Timberlake which is a part of a "Help for Haiti Now" album. Just weeks ago before the earthquake in Haiti the number one song was Tik Tok. Do you see how this is wrong on multiple levels? First, notice how two weeks ago Justin Timberlake (and I do like him) and the other artist on the album had no songs that even loosely referred to God or anything Godly. But all of the sudden when the market changed and people looked to God for answers musicians met the demand by flippantly recording Christian oriented songs. And the sad part about it all is that we fell for it and we fall victim to the same "caught up in the moment" spirituality. It can almost be sickening to see how we reduce Christian theology and God to just another fad. The last time we saw something similar to this was the tsunami that ravaged Indonesia and later Hurricane Katrina. We often jump on the most popular social justice band wagon around at the given time.
So how do I feel about the response to Haiti and are our fad like responses to tragedy that bad? First, I am glad that the body of Christ takes action so quickly to aid those in Haiti. My problem with it all though is that we only serve for how long it is convenient and cool. In a few weeks we will hear little to nothing about Haiti in the news, the number one song will be back to some bump and grind Kesha song and we will comfortably go back to our self centered daily lives with the feeling that we helped the world for a month by giving time and money. When in actuality our lives should be about changing the world. Showing Christ love is not a fad and if we make it that then it's not love at all. It's more like Christ's infatuation. On the positive side though, since America and other countries who pledge to aid disaster stricken countries are so wealthy even if we only care about helping the country for a month or two, we all give enough money that the people in the hurt countries do get to built new homes, businesses, and roads. So maybe it's not that bad after all.
I guess what my point is in the end is that we should make helping others our lifestyle not what's in style. There are still homeless people all over our country and around the world. People live in poverty and conditions like that of those after the earthquake everyday of their lives but we seldom hear those cries for help. So to wrap up, while the tragedy in Haiti is horrible, the people there are not the only ones suffering and the people there will be suffering for much longer than a month. So let's really be like Christ and not just get them back on their feet but get them walking again.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Why Men Cheat Themselves
I have been noticing a surge of articles online and in magazine outlining why men cheat on their significant others or wives. I'm sure the recent increase in articles is due to Tiger Woods but I noticed articles titled something like "9 Reasons Why Men Cheat" long before Tiger was in the spotlight. Before I go off on how stupid and appalling these articles are I would like to list the reasons men cheat, or so the articles say:
1. She's not what she used to be. Talking about how women may gain weight and the husband is less attracted to her
2. A nagging wife
3. She just doesn't "get" me. Speaking of how men feel like their wife doesn't understand them.
4. The Trill. Some men like the risk involved in cheating.
5. Blame it on the "hunter". In other words, our ancestors were hunters and so are we, so we hunt for more women.
6. Biology. We are naturally wired to cheat
7. It's just sex. For a lot of guys sex and love are separate things.
8. Men want more sex than women do.
9. Because we can. Some men think that since it is so easy to cheat, why not?
Ok, so I'm sure we all feel now that men cheating is completely justified, wrong! But the sad thing is is that it would appear that women are actually buying into these excuses. More and more women are making themselves be okay with their boyfriend or husband cheating on them. They toss it up to one of the nine reasons above. "Oh I was just too nagging, I need to give him space." "I need to understand him better so I can meet his needs." "It's natural for men to seek a variety of sexual partners, I just need to be better in bed to keep him around." "I let my body go so he wasn't as attracted to me, but I'm back in the gym now." Are you ladies serious? have you no dignity? A guy cheats because he is a sleeze bag, that's the only excuse. I want to be fair here and say that yes women can do things that make it easier for men to cheat. Women can not love their husband well or they can spend too much time at work and not enough at home. But it is him in the end that makes the decision to take action. And also, while the articles all talk about guys cheating, women cheat as well and there is also no excuse for that.
When it comes to men looking for different sexual partners here is the secret to having the best sex of your life. Have sex with your wife and your wife only once you are married. You are then guaranteed to have the best sex you will have ever experience. Do you see that when God cammands us to wait until married to have sex it is not just because He want to put another rule over us, or He doesn't want us to have fun. It is actually because He knows what is best for us. He knows that sex with your wife and only your wife is the best you will ever have. After all He did create it!
Now when men say that "she just isn't what she used to be", one they are incredibly shallow and they probably just married their wife because she was smokin' hot that first time they met naked in that pool at that house party. And not you realize you didn't marry because of love at all.
Others say it's because their wife nags on them too much or she doesn't know them well enough. Well, have you tried talking about it? You are allowed to talk to your wife and ask her to stop nagging or give you more space, and if she doesn't "get" you well fix it. Do things so she "gets" you. Go out on a date night and try and learn something new about the person. Even if you have been married for 50 years there is something you can learn.
Some men say it is because a long time ago we roamed the plains as hunters and that instinct is just coming out again. This is very similar to them saying it is biological for men to look for other mates. This is probably the most immature excuse of all of these. Apparently these men also have no free will or reason. We are humans, we are evolved beyond living strictly by instinct. We can make choices.
And as for the men that think sex and love are totally separated from each other, well they don't even know their own hearts. Have you ever wondered why we kiss? It does serve any survival function, it doesn't make babies. But for some reason when you are with someone you love you are drawn into them which initially starts as a kiss. This then should culminate as sex in marriage. And have you ever wondered why sex is enjoyable? Why would the means of reproduction be enjoyable if it were not supposed to be shared with the one you love?
Anyways, I know my responses to the nine excuses are short but I just get so hyped up on how stupid these are that I think more things than I can write. All in all, men and women who cheat are only cheating themselves and they are cowards. You ask "how am I a coward? what am I afraid of?" You're afraid of trying to fix your relationship. You are running away and taking the easy way out and then covering up your cowardice with a lame excuse. It's truly pathetic that people think infidelity in any manner is permissible. And again, God did not command us to be faithful to our spouses because He wants yet another rule to enforce, it's because He knows that being faithful is just a better way to live. So many of us do not wish the best for ourselves and we don't realize that God is wishing the best for us everyday.
1. She's not what she used to be. Talking about how women may gain weight and the husband is less attracted to her
2. A nagging wife
3. She just doesn't "get" me. Speaking of how men feel like their wife doesn't understand them.
4. The Trill. Some men like the risk involved in cheating.
5. Blame it on the "hunter". In other words, our ancestors were hunters and so are we, so we hunt for more women.
6. Biology. We are naturally wired to cheat
7. It's just sex. For a lot of guys sex and love are separate things.
8. Men want more sex than women do.
9. Because we can. Some men think that since it is so easy to cheat, why not?
Ok, so I'm sure we all feel now that men cheating is completely justified, wrong! But the sad thing is is that it would appear that women are actually buying into these excuses. More and more women are making themselves be okay with their boyfriend or husband cheating on them. They toss it up to one of the nine reasons above. "Oh I was just too nagging, I need to give him space." "I need to understand him better so I can meet his needs." "It's natural for men to seek a variety of sexual partners, I just need to be better in bed to keep him around." "I let my body go so he wasn't as attracted to me, but I'm back in the gym now." Are you ladies serious? have you no dignity? A guy cheats because he is a sleeze bag, that's the only excuse. I want to be fair here and say that yes women can do things that make it easier for men to cheat. Women can not love their husband well or they can spend too much time at work and not enough at home. But it is him in the end that makes the decision to take action. And also, while the articles all talk about guys cheating, women cheat as well and there is also no excuse for that.
When it comes to men looking for different sexual partners here is the secret to having the best sex of your life. Have sex with your wife and your wife only once you are married. You are then guaranteed to have the best sex you will have ever experience. Do you see that when God cammands us to wait until married to have sex it is not just because He want to put another rule over us, or He doesn't want us to have fun. It is actually because He knows what is best for us. He knows that sex with your wife and only your wife is the best you will ever have. After all He did create it!
Now when men say that "she just isn't what she used to be", one they are incredibly shallow and they probably just married their wife because she was smokin' hot that first time they met naked in that pool at that house party. And not you realize you didn't marry because of love at all.
Others say it's because their wife nags on them too much or she doesn't know them well enough. Well, have you tried talking about it? You are allowed to talk to your wife and ask her to stop nagging or give you more space, and if she doesn't "get" you well fix it. Do things so she "gets" you. Go out on a date night and try and learn something new about the person. Even if you have been married for 50 years there is something you can learn.
Some men say it is because a long time ago we roamed the plains as hunters and that instinct is just coming out again. This is very similar to them saying it is biological for men to look for other mates. This is probably the most immature excuse of all of these. Apparently these men also have no free will or reason. We are humans, we are evolved beyond living strictly by instinct. We can make choices.
And as for the men that think sex and love are totally separated from each other, well they don't even know their own hearts. Have you ever wondered why we kiss? It does serve any survival function, it doesn't make babies. But for some reason when you are with someone you love you are drawn into them which initially starts as a kiss. This then should culminate as sex in marriage. And have you ever wondered why sex is enjoyable? Why would the means of reproduction be enjoyable if it were not supposed to be shared with the one you love?
Anyways, I know my responses to the nine excuses are short but I just get so hyped up on how stupid these are that I think more things than I can write. All in all, men and women who cheat are only cheating themselves and they are cowards. You ask "how am I a coward? what am I afraid of?" You're afraid of trying to fix your relationship. You are running away and taking the easy way out and then covering up your cowardice with a lame excuse. It's truly pathetic that people think infidelity in any manner is permissible. And again, God did not command us to be faithful to our spouses because He wants yet another rule to enforce, it's because He knows that being faithful is just a better way to live. So many of us do not wish the best for ourselves and we don't realize that God is wishing the best for us everyday.
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